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Adelaide, brought to you by the letter B (bitchez).

That's Wong-Tastic

Ade­laide is old money. The only city not to be founded by con­victs (just say­ing), it has the unfor­tu­nate rep­u­ta­tion of bit stag­nant with the whole ‘hap­pen­ing’ thing. For­tu­nately, it’s chang­ing – and no, we’re not talk­ing about Mad March. Here’s 11 rea­sons to leave the house in Ade­laide all year round, and they all begin with ‘B’: runner-up in the Alpha­bet, win­ner at life.

THE BEACH: The Annex Cafe

The first project of new kids in the hospo neigh­bour­hood, Tash and Laura, The Annex Cafe is a warm touch of human­ity in an area thats sadly become a bit of Gold-Coast esque borefest. Serv­ing exclu­sively veg­e­tar­ian dishes, it has a grow­ing rep­u­ta­tion as a gen­tle hole-in-the-wall. The cof­fee and fresh juice com­ing out from these girls has locals peak­ing. There is some­thing dis­tinctly cul­tured about the atmos­phere; hav­ing earned street cred as a hang­out for the few remain­ing Glenelg hip­pies, the back­ward cap and Cot­ton On sin­glet look has been health­ily dis­placed by bare footed ukulele play­ers. Also keep an eye out for the sweet strings being plucked here every few months — they’re apart of Alice Fraser’s genius ini­tia­tive — The Cafe Series.


THE BREAKFAST: Paddy’s Lantern

Basic break­fast that’s bloody bril­liant — if we’re going to con­tinue with the B thing, which we are. Avoid­ing the rusty-chic look, this sleek and clean caf­feine ware­house is tucked away in the cities sleepy South-West. The cof­fee is qual­ity, the guys inside are very proud of what they do — as they should be; the food is great, and comes at a rea­son­able price. Every­thing here to start the day in the best way pos­si­ble. Don’t lis­ten to that sell-out from playschool, Coco Pops has noth­ing on Paddy’s Lantern.


THE BAKERY: Boulan­gerie 113

First things first, Boulan­gerie is French. French for bread­shop. And you pro­nounce it Bull-On-Ja-Ree, and not Bull-Ang-Eree. Now that we’ve got that out the way, let us tell you about this Good­wood gem. Fresh bread is baked daily and not just any fresh bread, but incredi-bread. Offer­ing a range of sour doughs which include 100% Rye and con­tem­po­rary fruit loaves with hazel­nuts and fig. What the breads lack in yeast, they make up for in wow holy crap oh my god taste that remem­ber a hap­pier time fac­tor. Boulan­gerie owner Jeremy Mavro­matakis has locals fist pump­ing for piz­zas and pas­tries — com­plex last name, sim­ple bak­ing, sweet work J.


THE BREWS: Clever Lit­tle Tailor

Clever Lit­tle Tai­lor could be described as “Yeah, really Mel­bourne”, what with its 1920s-esque vibes, laneway loca­tion and fond­ness for char­cu­terie. But Mel­bourne com­par­isons are so passe, aren’t they? So we’ll quickly dis­pense with that (SA GREAT). Nab a booth, grab the drinks list, and get on with some really good drink­ing at Clever Lit­tle Tai­lor already. It’s all exposed brick, hang­ing ferns and with the sort of design choices that make the eye happy. It’s a small bar that you want to sit in all damn night. And it’s the kind of place where bar staff Know Their Shit and are Up For A Chat and as a result make a Really Damn Good Cock­tail. It’s a one-two-three punch combo that makes one loudly assert “I don’t know what this is but it tastes good in my mouth and I’m going to stay here for­ever” (true story) (I’m still here) (some­one call my Mum).


THE BLENDS: Please Say Please

Think of Please Say Please as the NBA All Stars of the Ade­laide cof­fee scene. Clev­erly, bean-brainiac and Bar Nine nut­case Daniel Freer has sidled with fan favourites Ian Calla­han (Bar Nine) and James (Paddy’s Lantern), to help fill the des­o­late void between the CBD and Hutt Street. It’s cosy, so per­haps take you’re roasted hap­pi­ness and trek else­where to com­plete your novella/e-book/screenplay. Also, major brownie points from us Mel­bour­ni­ans for using Proud Mary coffee.


THE BOOGIE: Tijuana Show­girls

Hola Tijuana Show­girls. Bien­venidos a Ade­laide. ¡Muy Bien! And other things we learnt on Dora The Explorer. This venue per­son­i­fies ‘gen­tri­fi­ca­tion’. Before becom­ing a Mexican-themed dive bar with a cover charge and good look­ing clien­tèle, we’re pretty sure it was a strip club with a dingy sign writ­ten in Comic Sans MS. I guess there is a God after all. Inside it’s fun. The peo­ple are the ‘let the good times roll’ smi­ley sorts with good shirts, thats fun. The walls are cov­ered in quirky Mex­i­can shit, thats fun. The drinks and deli­cious and not out­ra­geously priced, that’s fun. Every Fri­day, trendy­li­cious beat drop­per Lau­ren Rose does her thang and that is really fun. Groove is in the heart, ah ah ah ah.


THE BEATS: Cats (Fri­day at Rocket)

Hind­ley street isn’t great, unless it’s 3am and you’re at Zam­brero om-noming on some gluggy rice good­ness. The best escape is up and into Rocket Bar — *cue Elton John*. It’s roomy, hip and has a gnarly rooftop space from which you can glare down at the Shisha smok­ers below. Fri­day nights are best for live music, impres­sive names are pulled aplenty - Flume, The Preach­ers, Nina-Las-FUN TIMES any­one? Check the FB page for updates.


THE BURGERS: Chuck Wagon

The viral craze of ‘din­ing in a diner’ has infected North Ade­laide and alas we have adven­tur­ous Amer­i­cana in ami­ca­ble Ade­laide. The sec­ond project of Moth­ers Milk pio­neer, Ste­fano Tim­pano, the burg­ers at Chuck Wagon will have you Wagyu-ing your tail-feather with joy. The starters here are also worth telling your friends about (Por­to­bello mush­room chips, don’t mind if I do) and all work nicely with the local selec­tion of ale and cider. If you’re feel­ing up to it, there’s also a twelve patty chal­lenge, oth­er­wise known as the ‘Chuck Wagon Com­mando’. We imag­ine it’s a pleas­ant way to die.


THE BITES: Taste on Rundle

Run­dle Street does Ade­laide proud. It’s a slick mid­dle fin­ger of sophis­ti­ca­tion to any­one that has any­thing bad to say about the South Aus­tralian cap­i­tal. Join­ing other East End eater­ies such as Sad Cafe, Horner & Pratt and EST Pizze­ria, Taste has nes­tled just up from the Pul­teney Street junc­tion and it’s serv­ing some suit­ably sen­sa­tional snacks. It’s Viet­nam meets Mel­bourne, but its in Ade­laide. What are you gonna do? I’ll tell you what, stroll on there, buy a fresh loaf, chow down a choco­late crois­sant and while you’re at it, get amongst their pride and glory — the bánh mì. That’s what.



How much did it suck when Jade Mon­key and Two Ships closed? Heaps. RIP, sun­rise, sun­set, injus­tice etc. It’s not all bad though, if from the shad­ows of a con­struc­tion site comes Luke Davey’s lat­est ven­ture — Ghost Ships.

Housed on the sec­ond floor of the Crown & Anchor Hotel, Ghost Ships (Get it? Ships? Ghosts? Ey? Ey?) sports a huge bal­cony look­ing over Gren­fell Street, good vibes, live music, and a Weber. All of the above is probs wor­thy of get­ting into a glee­ful hand-clapping frenzy over, but it’s frankly the lit­tle bar­beque that has us most excited. “Mr Brisket” is at the helm, cook­ing up bits of roo, lamb, and other ten­der deli­cious crit­ters. Each wooden board serv­ing of meat comes along­side salad, dips, sauces, breads and pick­les. Colour­ful, flavour­some, it’s tac­tile eat-with-yer-hands, sauce-on-yer-face kind of eatin’. See also: amazeballs.


THE BUBBLES: Two-Bit Vil­lains

Fun fact: the bal­cony level of Ade­laide Mall is a ver­i­ta­ble trea­sure trove/wonderland/shit-hot bal­cony of inde­pen­dent hap­pen­ings. Two-Bit Vil­lains is but one gen­uine delight of a dis­cov­ery up there. Run by Sass Ryan and Liam Hughes, Two-Bit Vil­lains started out its life as a rock­a­billy cloth­ing spot a cou­ple of years ago. The clothes and acces­sories are still there in all their rock­a­billy glory, but with a cou­ple of new addi­tions to the cosy space. Said addi­tions are: a veg/vegan-friendly eatery (burg­ers, onion rings, om nom), and a soda bar. No, really — soda bar. Home­made sodas, whipped up from absolute scratch. When asked how one goes about mak­ing sodas from scratch, the mous­ta­chioed and ami­able Liam responded with a laugh. “It’s a … long, long process.” What­ever the ardu­ous sys­tem, don’t go changin’. We can con­firm this homage to the soda bars of old (seri­ously, when did they stop being a thing?) is flip­pin’ tasty.


About the Author

South Australian born freelancer. Rides a skateboard. Looks as poor as he is. Has quite nice teeth though. Thanks Mum. You can follow him on twitter, here @henry_boles

One Comment on "Adelaide, brought to you by the letter B (bitchez)."

  1. Catherine Scholz 26 June, 2013 at 10:01 · Reply

    WOW, Finally a decant Ade­laide Guide where to go. Only aware of one of them. Will make it an adven­ture to go explor­ing with girlfriends

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